Relationship Tolerance

Talk radio stations (in the era of poli-talk radio) occasionally provide a solid platform for "Relationship Experts". Experts are the Doctors, Psychologist, Authors, Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and the like. The relationship experts are hosts of their own radio shows, or nowadays in the political talk era are guests on a slow news day or night.

Though the relationship experts rarely devulge their own relationship failures of the past or present, listerners plunge deep into the experts' presentation in a sianic state grasping every suggestion, ultimately applying the best expert advice to their own troubled though often comfortable relationship. The listener may secretly watch for "the signs" that the relationship expert communicated in their prepared speech.

Predictably the relationship expert will rap off a number of defined lifestyle situations, the do's-and-don'ts, and normally the expert suggests when to get out and when to stay in the relationship. If you the listener decides to stay in the relationship, the expert will show you how to sustain it by doing a number of back flips to keep the relationship fresh. If the relationship is stale with little communication, the expert will urge you to get out and find a better more communicative mate, keen to your needs, and willing to do fresh back flips. "You see" says the expert "Communication is key to a great relationship" would be the closing statement.

When listening to a relationship talk radio program by Dr. Feelgood, listen as if you were a Far Left Democrat listening to a Far Right Republican commentatory. In other words listen to what the relationship experts are saying (if that entertains you) and then go back to living your probably comfortable -- maybe even complicated or tired relationship -- as you normally do. Adding someone elses suggestions can only be viewed by suspision by your mate. For instance, after your entry of 'something new' suggested by the relationship expert on the radio, your mate will say to him or herself: "what the heck is this different stuff"!! Off to the bar your mate goes.

My point is to live your life the way that comforts you.

I, as the non-expert without a doctorate degree in relationships [normally folks with doctorates have several failed relationships due to the lack of time for relationship], having lived in five big cities with a few relationships under my belt, I see the key is "matching toleration levels" or "matching intolerable levels". You decide.

If you can tolerate your mates' ways of thinking and habits then remain. If you cannot tolerate your mate's patterns, then decide if you can be with this person that you cannot tolerate. The common terms of dating down, dating up, dating even, dating opposites, should be irrelenant to the outsider relationship experts. It is totally up to you and your beliefs.

Intolerable people may be entertaining to some folks. The intoleration keeps the opposite mates heart pumping. Total opposites in relationships often last forever.

Deeper still is that your mate cannot tolerate anything that you do or say, your habits, choice of occupation (or lack of an occupation), family, friends etc...overall nothing is tolerable, including sex, from either side. Even then though, many unique relationships still last last to death do they part. Again, you decide.

I bet that you thought I would advise you to seek elsewhere if you cannot tolerate anything from your mate? Well again I am not a Doctor of Relationships, so why would I do that? You should be reading 'Doctor Lonely' the relationship experts' book, not this blogger with a career in broadcasting and an unpaid hobby as a writer/journalist.

To tolerate or not to tolerate, that is the question? Whether here or there or the jet-setter going everywhere. Can you or can you not...TOLERATE?

I have not even touched on children in a relationship where the "toleration level" excellerates. The relationships' "own" child or children undoubtedly complicates the vulnerable relationship scenario.