I finally saw Santa Claus

To say that Santa has perfect timing is no joke. In all my years I have never seen someone so precise totally in touch with our nodding heads. However for the first time, I finally saw Santa come down the chimney.

The fire in the fireplace had descended to a flicker as Santa slide down the chimney miraculously avoiding the whispering flame. My dated Christmas greeting to Mr. Claus: "Santa Claus What's Happenin'?! " Santa was surprised to see me but not startled: "Hey Kirk I can't fool you anymore...Ho Ho Ho!"

With another chilly night in Washington DC, I offered Santa a glass of California Pinot Noir. Santa said: "No No No, that will slow my roll. Gotta go and bring good.good cheer to one and and to all."

I persisted in my giving mood, "How about some cookies to keep that stomach of yours up to speed. You're the only one that lives healthy and spirited with a big gut. The commoners get hearth attacks, diabetes, high blood pressure, and strokes if we do not watch our weight."

Cheerfully Santa says: "Ho Ho Ho, pass-the-cookies. Oh Oh Oh, I almost forgot? Here are the gifts you requested sitting on the lap of one of my helpers last week. To which I replied, "Thanks Santa."

"Santa, do you need to take a leak, a dump, or something before you bring on good cheer to one and all?"

Santa said: "No No No. I'm fine. Stay good like you been this past year, as you know Santa knows."

"Will do Santa", I replied. "Tell that to my loud neighbors."

"Oh Santa knows whose been naughty or nice. Ho Ho Ho, Merrrrrry Christmas," Santa stated as he magically left. Santa seemingly flew up the chimney.

Looking out the window, I saw the reindeer Rudolph blinking his nose leaving a streaking red trail across the moonlight skies leading the raindeer pack - and Santa - through the night to honor all of you good souls that make our world more tolerable.